I Don't Wanna. . .

Go back to work. I'm not ready. Emiko is so cute and so fun and I don't want to leave her. And I'm so tired now -- how will I handle being a mom and a teacher??? How do people do it? If you have any advice/guidance/hugs please share. I'm starting to get a little panicked. I thought maybe I was ready, but now I've changed my mind.

Teacher Talk Continued

So our ridiculous governor finally signed the budget. CPS is happy, although he cut out funding for school construction. I guess the asbestos in my school will have to stay put. We still have no contract, though.

The conventional wisdom is that we'll wait until we have a couple of paychecks under our belts before striking. But I was reading the District 299 blog about what we should do. We should strike now, because that would totally screw up football season, and football is a proven moneymaker for CPS. You get the coaches involved and I bet we'll get a contract with better than a 3% raise. But we won't do that. The CTU leadership voted to continue negotiations through August 31, at which time they'll meet again. They say that negotiations are going pretty well at the moment. We'll see.

I was talking about the contract stuff with my friend Butternugget, who didn't understand why teachers wanted things that most employees don't get, like job protection and health insurance premiums that are not linked to pay. And she makes a valid point -- why should teachers get this stuff. My only response is that teaching is not like any other job I've ever had.

At most other jobs you get to go to the bathroom whenever you want. At most other jobs, you don't get threatened by students AND parents and get called a motherfucker a lot. At most other jobs desks aren't thrown at you. Or books. Or do you have to worry about your wallet being stolen or your car windows broken. There are a lot of things to love about teaching high school in Chicago.

The saddest part is, there is no teacher shortage in Chicago. I had seven interviews the summer I got my current job. My current job is the only offer I got. You take jobs in Chicago where you can get them. And then your principal can fire you whenever he or she wants to. There doesn't have to be a good reason. He or she just pushes a button in an online form and you get canned. It doesn't matter if you've had great evaluations. It doesn't matter if you are on maternity leave. It doesn't matter if your kids love you and your principal has never observed you.

So people in the city schools work really hard, and they are at the beck and call of their principals. Of course, there are plenty of teachers who don't work hard, and just collect their paychecks and wait for their annual raises as guaranteed by the CTU. But I know a lot of teachers who are not in that category. And we are the ones who are most likely to get canned, because we tend not to blindly do whatever our principals want us to.

We'll see what the new contract looks like. I don't know if we'll strike or not. A lot of people are afraid of striking -- I think a fear of a strike is what led us to accept our last contract, even though it was full of concessions to principals. But we authorized the strike right before Christmas, and that is no way to get a good deal. I hope the union will realize that -- fear tends to hurt teachers more than Arne Duncan. I don't think Arne is afraid of paying his mortgage. I am.

Things I've Been Up To

I have found two new ways to waste time. I found this blog -- 52 Cupcakes -- which is, wait for it, all about cupcakes. The woman is awesome and she posts cupcakes and recipes and it all looks fantastic and I want t cupcake right now.

I also discovered a new online baby store -- www.babywit.com -- which has really cute onesies and stuff for punk rock babies. I ordered Emiko one that says ABC on it, but the A is an anarchy symbol. The other one says, "Punk Rock Is Not a Crime." I can't wait to put her in her new threads. They had a bunch of other great designs. I think I will get her the "Future Activist" one next. Or maybe the "Obama Baby" one. I will probably spend too much money at this site.

I ordered a new diaper bag, too. I almost bought the LeSportsac Tokidoki one for 200 bucks -- I was coveting it hard for a couple of days. But Todd would have killed me, and I decided I was over it when I was talking to a trixie at a fancy baby store in Ravenswood and she agreed it was a great bag. I don't want to have that in common with trixies. So I got a Chickpea Baby bag -- the same lady who designs the Queen Bee bags, and I know I'll be happy with it. Her stuff is well made and not the sort of thing you'll see wherever you go.

OK, enough shopping talk. Good thing I go back to work next week and start drawing paychecks again.

Technology Confuses Me

I got a new phone yesterday, and it's super fancy. It's a Samsung SCH-u740, so it has a complete keyboard. I don't text message very often, because it takes me forever, but I like having the keyboard just in case I get a wild hair.

So I've been trying to figure out how to use this thing. I've had to call Verizon's customer service line twice tonight. First I downloaded ring back tones by accident. I think I thought I was downloading a regular ring tone. My sister called and was all confused by the classical music ring back tone I inadvertently signed up for. I called customer service and they removed that feature from my account.

Then Todd was looking at my receipt, because the phone is eligible for a rebate. He noticed that my salesperson had signed me up for Vcast Vpack -- which is fifteen bucks a month! I had to assure Todd that I had no idea I had signed up for that. I called customer service again. They are very nice -- I give them points for that. And they didn't give me a hard time about making these changes.

I think now I have a basic understanding of how to use this silly thing. I can watch videos, which sounds like a great way to waste time at work, but I don't think it is worth the money. But I figured out how to download ring tones and I've taken some pics and so all my needs are met.

Teacher Talk

Being at training all week has been OK. It's been fun to sit and gossip with some of my favorite coworkers. And we're all getting paid our hourly wage, which is super fantastic. I even have a brand new laptop computer, thanks to Bill and Melinda Gates and their 25 million dollar contribution to CPS.

We spent a lot of time looking at the website for The Champion Foundation, www.thechampion.org. You can search for the salaries of any school teacher in the state. We now know how much our principal makes, all our coworkers, and various and sundry administrative staff. Many people make way more than we do -- there are two idiots in our department who make WAY more than we do. Life's not fair.

We've been training for High School Transformation, which is CPS's new plan for improving our high schools. That $25 million is going to "transform" low performing schools and create high school graduates who are on grade level and are prepared for college level work. That's the idea, anyway.

I have to say, so far the curriculum seems interesting. It's not as scripted as I was afraid it would be. Our school had the program last year, too, so I've been working with teachers who taught this last year. There is some concern that our kids will still not be able to do everything the curriculum wants them to -- we'll have to do a lot of modeling. And the pacing is a concern -- they expect freshmen to read the novel Speak in fifteen days. My juniors last year didn't read any novels at all, so low-performing freshmen reading a novel in fifteen days seems extremely unlikely. But we'll see how it goes.

The best part is we get classroom libraries -- with tons of books, laptops, mobile laptop labs, overhead projectors, LCD projectors. Stuff I've never had access to before. So I'm willing to try anything -- Bill Gates, I'm on board!

1st Day Back to Reality

Today I had to go back to work. Well, I am just in training this week. I got an email from a colleague of mine on Friday morning that said that she had heard I was teaching freshmen this school year and was therefore to report to a week's worth of training starting today. You'd think someone could have given me a call or sent me an email letting me know, but that's how things work at my school. I still don't know officially that I'm supposed to be in training this week -- I made several phone calls Friday trying to find out, but you know no one is going to be around on a Friday afternoon.

I knew that if I didn't go to training I would be in trouble, even though how was I to know??? So I started this morning. Which meant today was Emiko's first day at daycare. I did not like leaving her, but she did great and I know it's good for her. And it's probably going to be good for me, too. It was nice seeing some of my coworkers who I haven't seen in ages. And getting paychecks again will be great -- Todd is really happy about that.

I dropped Emiko off and I only teared up a little. Alma (the daycare director) said Emiko was fine and ate well and napped and played and adjusted easily. I knew it would be easier for her than for me.

But now I've done it and it should be easier from here on out.

So I'll be in training this week, then I'll be off next week, and then I'll officially start back to work on August 29th. I have a little bit of summer left. At least now I'll have funny school stories to tell -- should be good for the blog.

I can't just leave my baby with anyone!

I've been trying to figure out who will take care of my sweet baby girl for a few weeks now. Actually, I should have been thinking about this for months and months, but I've been in denial. For a really long time, August seemed very, very far away. But now it's August, so reality is starting to set in.

I thought I was going to do a nannyshare with a teacher who placed an ad on craigslist. I do think craigslist is an amazing resource. Anyway, this teacher placed an ad for sharing a nanny. It seemed perfect -- she and I have the exact same schedule, our girls are close to the same age. And sharing a nanny is half the cost of having one by yourself.

We met each other and everything looked good. She lives in Lincoln Square, and her condo is on the top floor of an old building, so I was concerned about how a nanny would get two babies down three flights of narrow stairs by herself. But I decided it would work out.

We interviewed five nannies, and only agreed on one of them. Then we did a background check on her and found out she had a burglary conviction in her past. So much for that. We decided we would just go through an agency, since we'd spent more than a week already with no luck.

Then the next day -- last Thursday -- she calls me and says she's really sorry, but it's not going to work out. She can't afford a nannyshare. I felt like I'd been dumped! She kept saying it's not me, it's her. And she hopes we can still be friends. Blah blah blah. I'm thinking -- this was your idea! Wouldn't you have made a budget and figured out what you can afford BEFORE placing an ad on craigslist and getting me involved???

So I was so upset and freaked out. I wasted a week and a half on this lady. And it's not easy finding childcare in Chicago. Especially when you can't afford 400 bucks a week.

One woman, who only charged 100 bucks a week, said that I could just bring Emiko's carseat with me, and she could sit in it when she wasn't napping in a play yard. I do not want my darling baby girl sitting in a carseat all day long! And she wasn't licensed and didn't pay taxes.

I made a billion phone calls and got added to several waiting lists. I also spent hours combing through message board posts on the Northside Parents Network regarding childcare. Any in home daycares that got positive reviews. Anything. Made more phone calls.

Met another woman who is licensed, but doesn't pay taxes, either. And she hosts sex toy parties on the side. Which is fine, just kinda weird. She has two girls at home with her, so I felt like she probably wouldn't pay too much attention to Emiko. Keep looking.

I then remembered that there is a house I pass all the time that has a sign in the yard about an in home daycare. I was at my wit's end, so Emiko and I drove by and got the number. Called the number, a really nice woman answered and invited us to visit. We got back in the car and booked it over there.

Hallelujah!!! It was great. It was spotless. Only a few babies -- close to Emiko's age. Two full time adult employees. Licensed. They pay taxes. They have all these stations -- there's a drama corner, a music corner. Tons of developmental activities. I called a couple of references and they love the place. And they had a spot for Emiko. Aaaahhh. Now I can stop freaking out!

I'm still freaking out about having to go back to work, but at least I know Emiko will be well cared for in my absence. I'm sure my back to work trauma will be another superfantastic post.

Oh, that teacher who dumped me called me this morning. She has emailed a couple of times, and now she's called. I think had we been friends beforehand, that would be different. But since I only just met her, and she let me down, I don't think I want to be friends with her. Am I being unreasonable and bitchy?