I have asked a couple kids if something was wrong with them. I just couldn't help myself. I know that I'm supposed to be the adult, and that many of my kids get no attention at home, which is why they are so starved for it at school. And that my saying "good morning" or "good afternoon" might be the first greeting they've heard all day.
That just breaks my heart and then I feel really, really guilty.
I know that most of my kids are poor and many live with grandparents or foster parents. I have kids who can't get to my class on time because their mom didn't have enough bus fare. And that their free lunch might be the only meal they get all day. Many of my kids were excited that today is the first of the month, since they'd get new Link cards.
I try to remember that stuff when I start to lose my temper. I also take a lot of deep breaths. But it's still so hard sometimes! And then I get mad, because an education is their only chance of maybe having a better life than their parents or grandparents, and they don't even care.
Then the guilt cycle starts all over again.
This is why I go to bed so early.