Monday, October 01, 2007

Freshmen! Good Lord!

I just cannot adjust to freshmen. They are so squirrel-y and needy. Good Lord they are needy. They ask the same questions over and over again. I swear I repeat myself all day long. Do your bellringer. Quit talking. Open your notebook. Turn to page 53. Why are you still talking? Turn to page 53. I said turn to page 53. Am I not saying it right? You are still talking. Stop talking!

And I don't want to be the teacher that destroys them, so I can't be sarcastic and say something like -- Is there something wrong with you? Although I really, really want to say that. Often. I have said things like -- Allegedly you all graduated from 8th grade, so you should know how to follow directions and do your work.

I have asked a couple kids if something was wrong with them. I just couldn't help myself. I know that I'm supposed to be the adult, and that many of my kids get no attention at home, which is why they are so starved for it at school. And that my saying "good morning" or "good afternoon" might be the first greeting they've heard all day.

That just breaks my heart and then I feel really, really guilty.

I know that most of my kids are poor and many live with grandparents or foster parents. I have kids who can't get to my class on time because their mom didn't have enough bus fare. And that their free lunch might be the only meal they get all day. Many of my kids were excited that today is the first of the month, since they'd get new Link cards.

I try to remember that stuff when I start to lose my temper. I also take a lot of deep breaths. But it's still so hard sometimes! And then I get mad, because an education is their only chance of maybe having a better life than their parents or grandparents, and they don't even care.

Then the guilt cycle starts all over again.

This is why I go to bed so early.


Butternugget said...

At least they didn't call you Mister. Which, by the way, I don't get at all. Sure, you have short hair but you also have boobs. How can you miss that?

AMY said...

I did think the boobs were a dead giveaway. And the purse I carry wherever I go. I did ask Olga if her student had actually seen me, and she thought maybe she'd just heard my name. So maybe it's not as bad as I thought.