Adventures in Getting Away with Stuff

Todd had a package waiting for him at the post office. I decided I would be a sweet wife and pick it up for him. Which is really nice of me, as our post office sucks. There is always a huge line, even if you just want to pick up a package. And the employees are not very helpful nor very pleasant.

He hadn't signed the back of the notice to authorize me to pick up his package, so I took the initiative and kind of forged his signature. Which, for the record, I have never done before.

I went to the post office and stood in a long, long line for thirty minutes. There were two women working -- one was in training. Another woman was just standing behind the lady in training, but wasn't helping anyone else. I was finally at the top of the line, the very next person, when the post lady announced that if you have a package to pick up, to walk around to the blue door and a person was there to help us. Which was not entirely true.

This douchebag who was in line BEHIND me broke in front of me to get to the blue door. He went to the wrong spot, so I showed him where the blue door was. Which was nice of me. He broke in front of me again. He complained about the wait. I said -- I've been waiting longer than you have. He ignored me. Then he kept bitching about the wait. There was a lady behind the door, but she was ignoring us. He kept knocking on the window. Sticking his head in. Yelling "excuse me!" a lot. None of things get you better service at the post office.

Finally a woman came by and the douchebag had a COD. Of course she couldn't help him at that spot. So he had to get back in the other line. Ha!

She took my notice, and I was a bit worried she would notice my duplicity. I said -- This is my husband's, but he signed off for me to pick it up for him. She totally bought it! It was quite a thrill.

I also misled FedEx about a package I was shipping to my sister, but that's a story you'll have to ask me about in person.

What can I get away with next???