After church, people kept offering me hugs. It was super sweet, and I was trying not to start crying. We joined the Unitarian Universalist church in Pasadena last fall. I don't know that many people that well, but everyone is so incredibly kind.
I know that I will have surgery next month. I know that I will take four weeks off from work. I don't know if I have to have chemo, but I'm pretty sure I will. I don't know if I can handle working through chemo, but I'm going to try.
People keep dying of cancer. It's crazy. Natalie Cole. Lemmy Kilmister. David Bowie. Alan Rickman. The guy from Grizzly Adams. They are all much older than I am, and none of them had breast cancer. But it still sucks.
I do know who my sub will be. She's a retired Immaculate Heart Middle School teacher. Candy is super sweet and will be a great nurturing presence while I'm out. So I know my girls will be in good hands. I will tell them when I have a surgery date. It's important to me that I tell them myself.
I've been reading and researching about breast cancer and surgery and reconstruction. I should probably stop doing so much of that, but it makes me feel a bit more in control having this information. I'm sleeping well most nights. So it's not in my head too much, at least not at bedtime.
I'll update once I meet the plastic surgeon. I googled her -- she's young.
Emiko has been asking lots of questions. I've been trying to be open and honest with her. She's a smart girl -- I owe her that. She made a story for me: