Saturday, March 26, 2016

Back to Work!

     I have meant to post all week, but have been too tired to get around to it. So I have to catch up! I went back to work on Monday. I was super nervous and excited. The girls were so happy to see me, which was wonderful!   
     I was high on adrenaline all day, so I wasn't too tired. But by the end of sixth period, I was worn out. I left work a little after 3 and picked up the kids much earlier than usual. We got home and I let them play the PS4 while Mommy took a nap til Todd got home.
     Tuesday was much harder. The reality of being back at work, without my twice-daily naps, really hit me on Tuesday. I explained to the girls on Monday that I was still recovering, and that I was now taking tamoxifen, which could make me super crabby, so please be patient with me. So on Tuesday I had them work on a reflection about the past five weeks, and they had to work quietly. It worked pretty well -- they were quieter.
     Mind you, my girls have had a sub for five weeks, and this was the week before Easter break. So it was hard to keep the girls corralled. Wednesday is grammar day, which is always a nightmare, because the girls don't understand grammar, so they get extremely fussy about it. So I was super testy on Wednesday.
     But I was also smart on Wednesday -- I packed a Coke in my lunchbox. I have lunch duty on Wednesdays, and we have a different schedule on Wednesdays, so I am always exhausted on Wednesdays, even when not recovering from breast cancer! The Coke helped get me through the day.
     That was lucky, because Todd was working out with the Pasadena Triathlon Club Wednesday evening, so the kids and I were on our own for dinner. Thank God the microwave is now fixed! So we ate leftovers and we all went to bed early.
     Thursday was the last day of the week, as we were off for Good Friday. The girls were still driving me crazy, because we reviewed the grammar from the day before, so they were still mad about grammar. I am going to change how I teach grammar. I did a lot of yelling Thursday.
     After school Thursday I had to rush to Kaiser. I was on my way out of the parking lot, and Cristina, our benefits coordinator, flagged me down. I reparked the car and waited for her. She needed me to sign my insurance paperwork so I could be back on normal insurance. COBRA no more! Then I had to really rush to Kaiser.
     I had to have my pelvic ultrasound for my oncologist. The technician fussed at me, because she said I had not had enough water and my bladder was empty. Which was not true! So we will see if the baseline image is helpful or if I have to do it again.
     Friday I was too tired to walk Emiko and Hideo to school. I promised them I'd walk them to school next week. I got up and ate breakfast with them, and then went back to bed. Which was wonderful. I woke up around 11:30 and took a shower and ate lunch before making my way to Kaiser for my appointment with Dr. Klausmeyer. I just knew she would see my right boobette and be horrified and immediately whisk me to the operating room to stitch up my awful wound.
     But she didn't. She said that we could go to the operating room and stitch up the wound, but that she thought it was healing, and that she had seen much worse. She then explained that while all of this was new to me, this was not new to her, and that I shouldn't worry. She cleaned up the wound and said to keep doing what I'm doing, and come back in a week.
     I told Dr. Klausmeyer that I do trust her, but it's alarming to have a wound like this. She said that when she does reconstruction, she leaves more skin than some plastic surgeons do, so that when we can start filling up the expanders with saline, there will be more skin so it will be easier to stretch. So my wound is not as bad as it seems, according to her.
     Next Friday morning is my next appointment with her -- we will see what she says. I would like the wound to heal so that I can start the expansion process. The tissue expanders feel weird and uncomfortable,  but I have heard they feel better once you start filling them. I am trying to be patient.
     In the meantime, I am still self-conscious about these foreign boobettes. I wore a t-shirt Friday to dinner, and felt awkward the whole time. I need to get over that.
    You can see in the picture that my boobettes sit funny, and there are funky bulges on the side of the boobettes. The top of my chest is pretty sunken in, and it's sunken in on the sides by my armpits, too. Once I get my expanders filled, the bulges will smooth out, but we haven't even started that process.
     I have no idea if other people notice that my boobettes look weird. But I know that they do and it's frustrating. On a happier note, that is a super cute t-shirt. I do love my Gir.
     I will spend Easter break resting up, and getting my lesson plans in order. After this break, that will be it. I don't have any sick days or anything, so I have to keep myself together for the next two months! My boss wants to observe me at the end of April, so I have to be at the top of my game for that. I am so happy to be back at work and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my job!
     Tomorrow is Easter. We are going to church and then we will go out to lunch. We will see if the Easter bunny comes and brings anything good for the kids. I think I have a dress that will work and make my weird boobettes less obvious. Oh, this morning I shaved my armpits! That was awesome! I have a little shaver I use on my peach fuzz. I can't use a regular razor, because were I to cut myself, it could be problematic. So I did my best to reach under my pits and shave them. It's not perfect, but it's much better! Now I can wear a sleeveless dress!
     Happy Easter!

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